Guidelines for Being Better Understood
1. Seek first to understand. If you know
your partner’s frame of reference, you can speak to him/her within
2. Pay attention to how your words are landing. If your companion’s
response looks off the mark for what you said, check out what
he/she is hearing....
3. Focus on the solution that would work for everyone, rather
than who’s right or wrong. Only focus on the problem long enough
to understand, then switch to what will fix it.
4. Separate emotion from solution. If one or both of you are
upset, irrational or reactive, you aren’t communicating. Take
a break and try again in a few minutes, when both of you have
5. Don’t beat dead horses. If you’ve been over the same ground
several times with no forward movement, get some help. An objective
third party can work wonders.
6. Be nice. Strive to create a cooperative atmosphere, and consider
your partners feelings.