WHY SELF CARE GOALS MATTER

For most of my clients, it’s easier to focus on caring for others than on caring for self. But self-care goals are important to your emotional well-being, and they are often neglected as we care for other people, or focus on work or parenting. You may not think of it this way, but caring for and about yourself is what gives you the energy and motivation to care for others. It also enhances your relationships, friendships, family connections and connections with work colleagues, because when you are well cared for, you are more open and generous with others. Neglecting self-care can lead to feeling anxious or depressed, and eventually burn-out, when you aren’t motivated to do anything. If you set goals and schedule them on your calendar, you will be much more likely to actually do them.

Here are some daily self-care goals you can aspire to:

1. daily exercise. In these pandemic times, it’s too easy to get caught up in all the responsibilities of working and schooling at home, and our normal prompts to go out are missing. If you are single and alone at home, daily walks or outings will break up the monotony. If you have children who are home-schooling, schedule a “recess break” and go outside, masks on, to do it. Toss a Frisbee, play tag or catch, and have some fun.

2. daily connection. You may be surprised to learn that connecting with others is a form of self-care. It will lift your spirits, give you some refreshing new inspiration from other people, and make you feel less isolated. When isolation rules are lessened, you can meet with friends and family members. When things are more closed down, you can form a book club, social meet or other group on Zoom, or just telephone a friend or family member who’s good company. Work connections might not have the same uplifting effect.

3. daily introspection. You may not realize how much you need an active, dynamic relationship with yourself. Get in the habit of asking your own opinion “How do I feel about this?” or de-briefing whatever is going on. Having an active conversation with yourself (instead of free-floating ruminating) is much more effective in reducing anxiety, helping you focus on your goals, and reminding you that even when no one else is around, you are not alone.

©2022 Tina B. Tessina. Adapted from: The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty and The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make Before 40: 2nd Edition

The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make Before 40


Author Bio: Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 40 years’ experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 15 books in 17 languages, including Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today; It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty; Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences, The Real 13th Step, How to Be Happy Partners: Working it Out Together; How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free and her newest, Money, Sex and Kids. . She writes the “Dr. Romance blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter. Online, she’s known as “Dr. Romance.” Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, TV, video and podcasts, including on GenerousMarriage.com. She tweets @tinatessina.
 
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